You are never too old to learn something stupid.
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." – Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." – Charles, Count Talleyrand
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Where there is a will, I want to be in it.
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away and he won’t have any shoes.